


A Good Flaw

by AhsokaTano17



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Comfort/Angst, Confusion, Depression, Dreams and Nightmares, Everything Hurts, F/M, Flashbacks, Heartache, Memories, Pain, Reconditioning, Sad with a Happy Ending, Serious Injuries, Suicidal Thoughts, Too many feels, Umbara is a Spooky Place (Star Wars), War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AhsokaTano17/pseuds/AhsokaTano17
Summary: Rex kills General Krell and is arrested and sent back to Kamino for reconditioning. He joins a new battalion as a shiny; carries a new identity. Rex is incogniant of his past—that is until he meets this bright eyed Togruta—and things start getting strange . . .
Relationships: 501st Legion & CT-7567 | Rex, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee & Ahsoka Tano, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex & Anakin Skywalker, CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano, Original Clone Character(s) & Original Jedi Character(s)
Comments: 86
Kudos: 243





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fives has tragic news concerning a certain clone captain to tell his general and commander.

_Book Cover Maker by Desynger_

 _for Wattpad & eBooks_

_“Sometimes you don’t know how much something means to you,_

_until it is taken_ _away.”_

Chapter I

* * *

With a heavy heart, Fives makes his way to the _Resolute’s_ bridge. He finds his general there staring out one of the viewports and he clears his throat. Anakin turned around with a blend of pain and relief on his face. “Fives,” he said softly and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “I’m so glad you’re alive and safe, but the rest look as if they’ve been through hell and back. What happened down there, and where’s Rex?”

The ARC trooper groans within himself and begins to explain everything that occurred on Umbara, as soon as Anakin was ordered by the Chancellor back to Coruscant. The Jedi looked livid and he briskly walked over to the holotable. A holographic image of a creature with a very long and skinny neck, resembling a tooth pick, a slender build, large bug-like eyes, thin like paper down-turned lips, and slits like a snake for a nose pops up. Fives snarled at the Chief Medical Scientist for Kamino—Nala Se.

“General Skywalker,” she said gracefully, voice dripping with fakeness. “What can I do for you?” 

“I demand that you return Captain Rex back to me,” Anakin growled.

Nala Se didn’t even flinch at his frostiness. “CT-7567 procedure for reconditioning is being carried out as I speak.” 

Fives curled his gloved hands into a fist and was sure his knuckles were turning white.

“And my orders are that it’ll be put to an end immediately!” 

“I’m afraid that that is impossible. You see, CT-75—” 

“He has a name!” Fives interjected.

Nala Se gave him a disapproving glance before refocusing on his general. “As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, CT-7567 without orders from high command killed a Jedi. Such independent conduct from a clone will not be tolerable in the army.” 

“He’s innocent! Krell was pure evil, a monster! Rex did good for the army,” Fives said indignantly. 

Another Kaminoan comes up from behind Nala Se, saying something in a hushed voice. She nodded. “Any further attempts to stop this reconditioning will be not necessary. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have important matters to attend.” She bows her head a little and flickers out.

Anakin slammed his fist down on the holotable, blue eyes blazing. “I hate those . . . things,” he muttered. “This is all my fault. I should have stayed, but no, instead I left my men with someone who gained a reputation of having the highest clone casualties under their command! I’m a crappy general.” 

“Oh no sir, you’re the best. If you were a crappy general, then you would’ve not requisitioned Nala Se to return Rex to us. This is just how things are for us clones, we’re treated like living objects, numbers. It’s unfair and cruel but it won’t ever change, because when have you ever seen protests for droid rights? Ha.” Fives was grateful that his helmet was on, so that the warm tear that rolled down his cheek went unnoticed.

Anakin groaned. “I could bring this to the Chancellor’s attention, I know he would right this wrong.”

“Clones are property of the Republic, and the decisions they make aren’t going to be influenced by the Jedi opinions. Especially with karking Tarkin firmly standing behind this decision.” Fives swallowed his fury. 

“I can’t stand him either. I’ll have to tell Ahsoka but I don’t think I can go through with it . . .” He knew he couldn’t bear to watch his precious Padawan’s heart shatter.

“I’ll tell her, if that could be of some help to you,” Fives offered.

“Thank you, and I wish I could change all of this . . . _I really do,_ Fives,” he said earnestly. 

The soldier let out a woeful sigh. “I know sir and I’m grateful for your efforts.” And with that, Fives departed from the bridge and headed to his Commander’s private quarters, assuming that she’s there. He knocked on her door and had to wait for a couple of minutes before she answered. He removes his helmet, clips it onto his belt. “Sir, I need to speak with you.” 

The Togruta nods and steps aside for him to enter. “You can sit at my desk,” Ahsoka said kindly. He took a seat and inhaled a shaky breath. “I feel so much darkness and suffering from the men and now you. I’ve asked around but they won’t say much. Also, where’s Rex?” She was anxious because she couldn’t sense her mate on the ship. Please, let him be on another one for whatever reason, perhaps something regarding the mission. 

He willed himself not to cry and began to speak. Every word struck her heart like a mallet, smashing it to a pulp. “They can’t do this! I’ll go to Kamino and stop those filths myself!” she fumed and tears burned her eyes. 

“I would join you, but it’s too late now.” His voice cracked and caught in his throat. 

As the anger and sorrow thrummed through her veins, she’d to lean against the wall to support herself. Every kiss, every smile, every laugh they’d shared—sweet memories of them together Rex won’t remember. He won’t even know who she was; it’ll be like she’d never existed to him. How could she go on? 

“If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here,” Fives promised. 

Ahsoka stared at his face—almost identical to Rex’s—but not quite. She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked away. “Thank you Fives, you're a dear friend, but right now I need some time alone,” she said tremulously. 

“I understand, sir.” He rose and left. 

She began to cry, hopelessly, quietly at first and then with great choking sobs that shook her whole body. She sinks to the floor curling up into a ball, trying to hide from the agony. The door opened with that swoosh and Anakin entered, scooping her up in his arms, she buried her face in the crook of his neck. “I can’t go on . . . not without him,” she sobbed. 

His hands soothed over her back and he rocked her back and forth back and forth. “Oh, Snips,” he murmured, voice full of sadness. “You’ll be strong, Rex would want you to. Do you think he would want you to give up on life?” 

“ _That day will come; the day I’ll die on the battlefield, but know that my last breath will whisper your name. But you, Cyar’ika”—Rex cupped her face in his hands—“will go on living. I won’t be able to rest in peace knowing that you’re in the grave or wherever Jedi go after dying, because you couldn’t live without me. My desire for you is for you to be happy, find love again, pursue your dream of becoming a Knight and live life to the fullest. When I look down from Clone Heaven, I want to see that smile of yours that could rival the sun’s brightness, not tears in your pretty eyes. Please, be strong, my love.”_

His words comforted and yet hurt her so much. She shook her head, trembling like a leaf in her master’s arms. Anakin kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes as tears trickled down her sienna cheeks. 

“ _Please, be strong, my love.” Rex’s voice softly echoed in her montrals._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex finishes up his cadet training and graduates from Kamino as a trooper for the Republic . . . again.

_“The aim of military training is not just to prepare men for battle, but to_ _make them long for it.”_

Chapter II

* * *

“Red Squad, report to the training room.” Shaak Ti’s gentle but strong voice commands over the intercom in Tipoca City’s mess hall.

Rex’s breakfast was finished in two minutes then he deposited his tray in the proper area before exiting out into the hall with his batchmates: CT-8905 nicknamed “Ace”, CT-6472 “Evo”, and CT-2001 “Clik.” It wasn’t long before the group entered the large training facility, and they changed out of their red cadet uniforms worn by the older Fett clones and into their training armor. On leaving the locker room, they see Dral Squad strutting out of the room. 

“We’re gonna beat their butts,” Evo grins. 

“If we follow orders, we will,” Clik said solemnly. Evo rolled his eyes and sighed. 

Rex stayed silent. Today was their last day of training and he had mixed feelings, both excitement and nervousness. The clones grabbed their weapons.

“You may begin,” Shaak Ti announced. 

The Citadel Challenge was a training course that all cadets took. You had to make your way through the guard towers and standard infantry droids, then climb the hill, and pick up this pole which disabled all the droids and laser cannons. Shaak Ti watches the cadets—watches him. She oversaw Rex’s training in the very beginning. She’s feeling blue. He may be reconditioned, but his fighting expertise is still there, she mused. 

The training was very intense like always, although it seemed more so than before. _I suppose because it’s our last day,_ Rex thought. Three standard hours pass and Red Squad is on the hill pumping their fists in the air and whooping with laughter. “We passed, Dart!” Ace exulted, clapping his favorite brother, Rex, on the back. Evo and Clik give a chest bump.

“Well done troopers, well done,” the Togruta approved. They received medals and Rex looked down at his in awe; it glimmered under the soft white light. “You may go now to the Central Armory to receive your armor, after you freshen up.” 

So the joyful brothers rinse off and head for the Central Armory to receive their new armor. The plain white Phase II is smooth and glossy.

“What do you guys think?” Evo asked smugly, fully armored.

“Lookin’ like a real soldier,” Clik said as he puts on his helmet, “until you fall face-first in a puddle of mud, knowing you.” 

Rex and Ace snickered quietly. It’s true, Evo would be the first one to embarrass himself. “Haha, very funny.” 

Someone jostled Rex from behind all the sudden and he almost tripped. “I bet your helmet reeks of bleach,” gibed Viper, a member of Dral Squad, whose favorite pastime is bullying Red Squad, particularly Rex because of his close friendship with Ace.

“Bugger off, Viper,” Evo gruffed.

“Those are some big words coming from a shorty like you.” 

Clik levels an icy glare on him. The average clone stood at 1.83 meters, while Evo is 1.7 meters. Knowing how self-conscious Evo is about that, Rex felt a flare of anger rush through him. “You know what? Who cares!” he spat. “It seems like you have nothing better to do than pick on others. Get lost!” Nobody was expecting that outburst from the usual reserved and quiet cadet. 

“You heard Dart,” Ace said coldly, “get outta here. Your disdainful attitude is why I rejected your friendship.” Viper’s face flushed and he appeared hurt by his words, but quickly covered it up by shooting daggers at him and Rex before swaggering off.

“I hope that’s the last we see of him,” Evo sniffed. “Now, where were we. Oh right, armor.” 

“Too bad it won’t always be a fresh white,” Clik frowned, turning his helmet around in his hands; he was serious about everything being clean and tidy. 

“But you wouldn’t want it when we can paint our battalions scheme colors.” 

Rex experienced a mild fluttering, churning sensation in the pit of his stomach at the mention of their battalion. What would they be like, bullies like Viper?

“You alright, Dart?” Ace asked. 

“Yeah . . . just a little anxious about all of this.” 

“We’re all nervous; used to safe and secure Kamino, but now leaving that far behind and becoming soldiers, fighting a real battle. But as brothers we always have each other’s backs.”

“Brothers to the last fight,” Evo started off.

“To the last enemy,” Clik added.

“The last hour,” Rex said

“To the last bullet,” said Evo. 

“To the last breath,” Ace whispered. 

“Brothers, to the last hope,” they chorused. 

Some time in the afternoon, hundreds of cadets gathered shoulder to shoulder in the hangar bay in the Tipoca City Military Complex for their graduation and deployment.

“It’s a wonderful day for the Republic. From here, you ship out being transported to different parts of the galaxy. Don’t be frightened, this galaxy has never had such courageous and fiercely loyal soldiers like you before nor will it in the future,” admired Shaak Ti. “May the Force be with you in your fight against the Separatist and restore peace to the Republic.” 

Clik sniffles. “That was beautiful.” 

Rex and Evo suppressed a laugh behind their hands.

“Helmets on!” Commander Nattii ordered them to attention.

The clones put on their sun bonnets. Every soldier in each file turned to face Commander Trunle in perfect unison as if the scene was some part of a well-rehearsed play. Their boots echo down the hangar as they stomped them into the durasteel floor; making a rhythmic, thunderous sound. The incessant movement of their strides full and heavy, long and light as they march aboard the Venator-class destroyer. The entry ramp pulled up slowly. 

Rex heard his heart pounding in his ears, and his palms suddenly became sweaty. “This is it.” His voice faltered but Ace was by his side and gave his gloved hand a gentle squeeze. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mandalorian dictionary: Dral = Strong, Powerful
> 
> Commander’s Nattii and Trunle are my OC’s


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex joins his new battalion and something strange occurs

_“Love leaves a memory that no one can steal but sometimes, it leaves a heartache that no one else can heal.”_

Chapter III

* * *

Red Squad departed from the transport which they were on for almost five standard hours, and boarded another one named the _Indomitable_.

“I think I have hyperspace sickness,” Evo groaned. 

Clik’s eyebrows drew together. “Is that even a thing?” 

Rex’s gaze swept the hanger, and troops loading vehicles on LAAT/c threw them welcoming smiles. “We have some shinies!” one of them yelled out as he was approaching the squad.

“What are shinies?” Rex wondered.

“It’s a clone term for those who are new and fresh out of Kamino.” 

“We may be shinies, but we can kick butts,” Evo said in all seriousness. Clik gives him a was-that-really-necessary look. 

The brother chuckled. “I like you already, what’s the name?” 

“CT-6472, sir.”

He frowned. “Not your digits trooper, but your name.” 

Evo looked taken back. “Oh, Evo.”

The others introduced themselves as well. “It’s nice to meet you guys. I’m Lieutenant River, welcome to the 126th Battalion,” he chirped. 

A little smile tugged at Rex’s mouth, he was beginning to like this brother. River began introducing the shinies to Shadow Company—they were identified by their greenish-blue paint job.

Rex noticed this trooper coming towards them; he let out an air of calmness and respect. His kama sways as he walks, and Rex is slightly jealous of his sleek palduron. He introduced himself as Captain Chase.

“Sir,” Red Squad saluted. 

“At ease and follow me,” he said, his voice flat and toneless. 

“Sweet palduron he’s got going on there,” Ace whispers to Rex. 

They take the lift all the way up to the first level of the ship, following their captain through the pristine halls and to the bridge.

“The shinies have arrived, sir,” he informed the Jedi General.

“Ah, thank you, Captain.” Chase gave a dip of his head and exited the bridge. “I’m General Whitmar, welcome. I hope to get to know you all. We’ll start with your names.” 

“I’m Ace, sir.”

“Evo here, sir.” 

“They call me Clik, sir.”

Whitmar’s bright green eyes smiled and they landed on Rex. “And you are?” he said softly. 

“I am Dart, General,” he responded shyly. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

The silent clone who stood beside the general removes his sun bonnet and places it under his arm. He fashioned double stripes and had grown facial hair. “Commander Ross,” he said, firm and confident. 

As they got to know their superiors better, Rex couldn’t help but observe their opposite personalities. Whitmar was pleasant and talkative, but Ross was rigid and spoke few words. They reminded him of River and Chase: River adopted the attitude of his general, while Chase mirrored his commander. He found it interesting and as long as there are no Viper types, he was glad to be a part of the 126th.

* * *

“So, what does one do on Coruscant?” Ace asked River.

The 126th was on the city-covered planet staying at the GAR clone barracks while General Whitmar attends a meeting at the Jedi Temple. Rex could see the magnificent structure from here. 

“Well, whatever you want to do really, so long as it doesn’t oppose the regs. We have a pool facility here, also a gym and training room. There’s 79’s, a bar that caters to clones, nightclubs and much more. Coruscant is an adventurous place for shinies.” 

“What do you recommend?” Clik queried.

“79’s, because it’s a great place to meet brothers from outside of your battalion.” 

“Maybe next time. I’m going to swim; I’d like an relaxing atmosphere. Have you guys decided?” 

“79’s for sure,” Evo smirked. 

“I am going to train,” Ace decided. “What about you, Dart?”

Rex felt a little overwhelmed with all these options. “I’m gonna hit the gym and sees what comes next.”

So Evo and River hang out at 79’s, Clik goes to the pool and finds his new captain there, Ace heads to the training room and meets Commander Bly, and Rex enters the workout center. In the locker room he removed his armor and put it in a cubby-hole then left. He starts his workout with aerobic exercises like arm swings, leg kicks and walking lunges. He wants to bulk up those triceps, and finds scull crushers a good way to do it. He finishes off his workout by doing the diamond push-up.

Rex returned to the locker room for a shower—thirty minutes of working out and he felt great! He stepped out, dried off, tugged on his black fatigues and went to the cubby containing his armor. “Hi,” he smiled at the trooper standing near it. The brother looked over his shoulder at him and gasped out loud. Confused, Rex takes a step back. “Did I do something?”

“No!” they answered frantically. Rex was totally weirded out. “I–I should go now.” The clone sporting a ‘5’ on the right side of his temple, rushed out of the changing room.

“Okay . . . that was awkward.” He puts on his armor and leaves the locker room and gym. Something about that clone was strangely familiar . . .

* * *

“I saw Rex!” burst Fives when he arrived at Torrent Company’s designated living quarters.

“Y-you did? What did he do?” Jesse’s voice was brittle.

“Has he completely forgotten us?” Tup’s lips quivered.

Ahsoka sat very still and silent on Fives’ bunk.

“He smiled at me and said hi, but didn’t at all recognize me or mention you guys. It hurts like hell.” 

A single tear rolled down Tup’s cheek. 

Jesse looked livid. “I hate those long-necks with a passion! They ripped Rex away from us! It’s like we never—” 

“ _Existed_? Yes. He will go on in life without us; holding no memories of us. Not a single one of,” her sadness was palpable, but she didn’t cry as they suspected she wanted to do, “ _me_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 126th Battalion belongs to me


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex is deployed into his first battle and feels this queer connection with General Skywalker’s Padawan

_“I feel like I’ve known you forever. Like I’ve held you in my heart for centuries.” (Talon) — Sherrilyn Kenyon_

Chapter IV

* * *

Ahsoka enters the _Resolute’s_ bridge to check on the mission board: the 501st will be working alongside the 126th Battalion with the operation of eradicating Separatist warehouses on Mahranee, and retaking the planet from their control. Only a couple of times has the 501st and 126th work together, much to the Togrutas’ disappointment because of having a crush on General Whitmar in the past. She had thought his long, brown locks were luscious and so very different from what she’s seen before on humans, and his almond-shaped green eyes captivated her. Her crush on him fizzled out though when she met Lux Bonteri.

Ahsoka closed her eyes, trying to fix an image of a certain soldier’s perfect face in her mind: the curve of his cheeks, the sharpness of his jawline, the graceful arch of his thick dark brows. Her eyes reopen and she wiped away the tears she hadn’t realized had fallen—neither men of her past infatuations could ever replace her ke’leh. She left the bridge and takes the turbolift all the way down to the hangar bay just in time for the briefing with the 126th. 

Rex saw this beautiful, young sunset-hue Togruta walking with lithesome grace over to Skywalker. She was ravishing. His gaze swept over her athletic form, from the soft curve of her lekku and the swell of her breasts, to her shapely legs outlined by her leggings. He feels his fatigues getting tighter. She stood with her hands on her hips and chin slightly uplifted, there’s something about this Togruta that he cannot quite place; this strange connection with her that he cannot explain. She looks over at him and he becomes self-conscious, looks down for a moment shifting from one foot to the other and then back up, meeting her gaze through his t-visor.

He may have his helmet on, but Ahsoka knows when a trooper is checking her out. She never encouraged their titillating behavior as she considered all the clones to be her brothers, most especially it would be improper as a Jedi if she did—but this one, well, she doesn’t mind. It was Rex after all. She knew it was, she could _feel_ him. A part of her was very tempted to ask Anakin if she can stay this mission out. How can she face Rex, work alongside him acting like all was fine? The other confusing part yearns to be near her mate, despite the pain involved. It hurts so to be near him as well as not. 

She finally pulls her fixated-stare away from him, loosely wraps her arms around her abdomen and hunches over a little. And Rex is left with this unsettling feeling that he has seen those bewitching blue eyes once before. He doesn’t realize the briefing has come to a close until everyone is boarding the gunships.

“You okay, buddy?” Ace asked cordially. 

“I’m fine.” 

“You sure?”

Until this unpleasant feeling goes away, no he’s truthfully not but Rex just nods.

They land on Mahranee’s surface, and Red Squad makes their way over to Commander Tano, all except for Rex who doesn’t have a clue what this campaign was about. _How could I focus when she had all of my attention?_ He was somewhat irritated with her.

Clik stops in his tracks and turns around in order to face him. “What are you doing?”

“Why are we going with Tano?”

He crossed his arms. “You mean to tell me that you haven’t been paying attention?” he chided him. 

“No. Well, I—” 

“She’s going to lead us to the storage facilities, while the rest engage with the enemy on the front lines.” 

“Thanks,” Rex mumbled, then he and Clik join the others. 

His ears are graced with her silvery voice. “Can I have your names, please?”

“I’m Dart, sir,” he said eagerly, unaware that his deep modulated voice makes her shiver.

Her heart clenched and she fought back her tears. She missed his voice. “It’s nice to meet you . . . Dart.” 

His batchmates introduced themselves, as did her men. The clone from the locker room is Fives, and the one with the Republic cog on his helmet is Jesse.

_Fives. Jesse_. _why did they ring a bell?_

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Now let’s do away with this facility!” Ahsoka said gaily. 

Rex grins and he doesn’t know why, just that this Togruta is the reason behind it. The troops fall in step behind their superior as they walk through the forest.

“Sorry for my behavior in the changing room yesterday,” Fives apologized. “You strongly resemble someone I know, that was all.”

“Oh, I see. Thank you.”

As the squad nears the warehouse, Ahsoka orders, “Fives, start wiring the det.” He saluted and got to work. She guarded his back while the clones diligently kept on the watch for droids. When the ARC is done they scatter about seeking out safe places to hide, and Rex ends up with _just_ the commander in a small cave. His palms become sweaty, and his heart was racing. 

She sensed his nervousness in the Force and she found herself smirking, blushing. _At least his taste hasn’t changed,_ she thought.

A sudden loud _BOOM_ goes off making the ground shake violently. Rex noticed that she was about to lose her balance, so in a flash, almost instinctively—like he’d done this times before—he is there at her side supporting her by putting his arm around her waist, and he presses his back against the wall to keep himself from losing his footing. If feels natural, _so right,_ to him to have her in his arms this way. 

His actions were unforeseen and yet in characteristic for him; he’d always been protective of her. Ahsoka was at first left dazed and confused, but then she leans into his chest and allowed a smile. It was as though he had never gone out of her world and for a moment she wanted to believe that he hadn’t. 

The forest grew unearthly silent as if all of the creatures calling it home had gone into hiding from this new threat. There were a few hisses and pops from secondary explosions. Ahsoka brought her hands down from her throbbing montrals and rested them on his forearms. Her blush is full and radiant and her heart flutters like a caged bird in her chest. She allowed her eyes to flicker upwards, and she has to restrain herself from ripping off his helmet and kissing him senselessly. 

Rex’s heart was beating wildly. Staring into her eyes framed by long, ebony lashes he had the sensation he was being drawn down, into them and was drowning, unable to catch his breath— _why have I seen them before somewhere?—_ and they held him captive until she looked away and took a step backward. He shoved these newfound emotions to the side with some difficulty and stood upright. 

They ventured out of the cave and saw the others abandoning their hiding places with caution. Rex looked back toward where the enemy’s warehouse once stood. In its place was twisted scorching metal and fireball that swept high into the smoky blue sky.

The battle sees night fall on Mahranee—the Separatist just weren’t planning on surrendering anytime soon. Red Squad kept a watchful eye on each other, loyally covering each other's back; this is, after all, their first battle.

Fives was sorrowfully reminded of Domino Squad: he saw Echo in Clik and himself in Evo. And then there’s Rex, nobody would think he was a shiny; his aim is deadly, he fought like a veteran. It’s like watching Captain Rex out there . . . but it’s not. A tear slides down his cheek. 

Eventually the heated battle comes to an end with the Republic coming out victorious. The 126th returned to the _Indomitable_ , and Rex went to the barracks locker room for a shower. On leaving he sees the captain setting paint cans and paint brushes down on the floor. Ace and him share a knowing smile. 

“You rightfully earned your stripes,” Captain Chase said with a teeny smile lifting the corners of his mouth, “and are no longer shinies.”

The delighted brothers sit together in a circle on the floor.

A smiling River comes over. “Have anything in mind yet?” he asked.

“Unfortunately, no,” Rex sighed. 

“Something will spark your imagination. You can always look up unique tribal patterns. By the way, your fighting skills Dart are incredible. Never have I seen a shiny fight the way you did.” 

Rex rubbed his upper arms and begun to fidget with his paint brush. “Oh. . . thanks. But I think I fight like any other shiny.” 

River studied him for a moment, then gives him a quizzical, yet kindly, smile before exiting the barracks.

“Even as a cadet, your skill was above average,” Ace pointed out while stirring his can of greenish-blue paint. 

“Lucky you got to train with the older brothers, sometimes,” Evo chimed in.

Rex really did hate being in the spotlight. “Guys, please stop.”

“So, I like River’s idea of tribal patterns,” Clik said, shifting the topic. 

The others agree and they got down to work. Rex painted a series of chevron stripes and diamonds on the shoulder pads and knee plats. A similar pattern adorns the front of his helmet. Subconsciously he was choosing things related to Ahsoka: the blue chevrons on her lekku, the diamond cutouts on the side of her leggings, and three of her facial markings are diamond shaped. 

Two hours later and Red Squad is finished, armor pieces lay out on a table to dry.

“We did an awesome job!” Evo bubbled. 

“Yours shares a resemblance to Commander Tano’s characteristics.” Ace looked at his friend with raised eyebrows, a teasing gleam in his hazel eyes. Rex goes crimson, and his brothers howled with laughter. 

“Dart and Tano sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” Evo teased him.

Even Clik was laughing. 

Rex glared at them all and grumbled, “Goodnight” then climbed up the short ladder into his bunk. As he drifted off to sleep, he heard his brothers sniggering and he huffed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Togtuti dictionary: Ke’leh = Mate


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange dreams and a crazy mission with the 212th.

_“Dreams feel real while we’re in them. Its only when we wake that we realize something was actually strange.” — Leonardo DiCaprio_

Chapter V

* * *

_A clone trooper with blue Jaig eyes adorning the front of his helmet walks through the corridors of a Jedi Cruiser. He enters the bridge and approaches this young Togruta who was gazing out of one of the viewports at the velvety blackness of open space, dotted with thousands of twinkling stars. The Togruta looks over at him with eyes shining brighter than any of those stars, and her mouth begins to move but the words cannot be heard._

_The soldier laughed, shook his head. She smiles and her arms find their way around his neck, taking off his helmet, she pulls him down and kisses him. He moved one arm around her slim waist and pulled her closer to him. Suddenly, though, he pulls away and looks toward the entrance, standing in the doorway is a young man, a Jedi Knight._

_The clone and woman blushed heavily._

Rex’s eyes flung open and he suddenly sat up in bed, trying to process this perplexing dream.

_Those Jaig eyes . . . and why the kriff am I kissing Tano!?_

It’s not like he had a problem with kissing that pretty little creature.

The bizarre thing is that he doesn’t feel like this was _just_ a dream; it feels very real actually, like a memory.

_But how can I have memories of something I have no memories of?_

“Makes no fekking sense,” he said louder than he intended to. 

“Dart,” comes Ace’s groggy voice from below his bunk, “why you up?” 

“Bad dream, that’s all.” He lays back down and brings the blankets up to his chin.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Rex was touched by his concern. Dead tired or upset, no matter what, Ace was always looking out for his well being. “I forget half of it, too crazy. I’ll be fine though. Night.” 

“Well, alright then . . . goodnight.” 

Sleep doesn’t come for Rex, and he continued having these curious dreams, and by morning he believes he has officially gone mad.

“Did you even close your eyes last night? You don’t look so good,” Clik observed.

“Yeah, I didn’t have the best night,” he snapped. “Sorry . . .” He caught his reflection in the refresher mirror: face pale under tanned skin, dark rings under his eyes.

Yawning, Rex stripped off his fatigues, stepped into the shower stall and turned on the water. The peculiar dreams came flooding back: they involve the 501st, a Jedi with an auburn beard, and a clone who has a scar on his face. He doesn’t have a clue who these people are, so why is he dreaming about them? Why is _he_ in those dreams? Rex pushed the puzzling questions to the far back of his mind, turned off the faucet and got out. River tossed him a fluffy white towel. “Thanks.” He towels off, then dressed in armor and headed to the mess hall. 

“Tired?” Evo smiled at Rex, who jerks awake with a start, and stares weirdly at him.

“No, I’m fine,” he mutters, rubbing his eyes fiercely.

“You’re lying.” Evo pokes his arm lightly.

“Don’t do that.” Rex moves his arm away from Evos’ and stares blankly at his porridge. 

“Not fine my shebs,” he muttered, which earned him a glare. 

“I don’t need sleep.”

“Soldiers need sleep too,” Evo protests, holding his brother tightly to his chest. He started rubbing his back rhythmically, as Rex tried to move from his grasp. “Go to sleep!” Evo kept smirking at his annoyed expression. 

Clik flicks Evos’ ear. “Knock it off.” 

“Ow . . . ” 

Ace rolled his eyes at his brothers’ childish behavior, and glanced at Rex with worry. 

After breakfast the 126th assembled in the hanger for a briefing of the upcoming campaign.

“The Separatist have blockaded Antamont, and General Kenobi is in need of assistance,” General Whitmar informed. “Ross.” 

The steely commander stepped forward. “While the general and his pilots lend Kenobi a hand, the rest of us will fight planetside alongside Commander Cody and his men to take back a Republic base. Any questions?” 

Yeah, Rex had one: “Why does Commander Cody sound familiar to me?” But he doesn’t ask because it’s not really relevant now. 

The men shook their heads and the meeting is brought to a close, then they clones busy themselves with loading AT-RT on the gunships.

“I hope I get to ride one; I have always wanted to,” Clik said brightly, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Using the high-tech holograms constructed by the Kamioans, the clones had learned in depth of the ships and vehicles handled by the Republic and how they operate. The images were highly sophisticated; rotating this way and that, in a rather supercilious manner, very suitable for their egotistical and patronizing instigators. Rex recalls Clik’s avid of the AT-RTs during those absorbing and extensive lessons. 

“Well, maybe today will be your lucky day,” Rex smiled. The ship makes the jump and he stares into hyperspace, deep in thoughts. The stars become long streaks of white and blue light.

Blue like her eyes.

He sighed heavily as his thoughts once again drifted off to a certain Togruta. He closed his eyes and he saw her. She stands in the shade of a tree looking through a pair of macrobinoculars, she lowered them and looked over her thin shoulder, staring at him. She made him feel uneasy whilst making him weak in the knees. 

“Dart?”

Ahsoka began walking towards him, her hips swaying. 

“Hey.”

He desperately wants to escape this intrusive memory. 

“Dart!”

Rex snapped his eyes open, gasped out loud and whirled around. “W-what?” he got out. 

“I’m not even going ask if you’re okay.” Ace’s frown deepened. “Bad dreams, looking like you haven’t slept in years, and Clik told me yesterday that you didn’t listen to the briefing. You’re my best friend Dart and I want to know what the hell is going on with you.” 

Fortunately, the scenery outside changes to immense CIS ships surrounding the helpless planet before he could respond.

His brother sighed tightly, putting on his sun bonnet. “We’ll finish this later.” 

Whitmar and his starfighter squadron Midnight, depart from the Indomitable forming a V formation—it is an impressive sight to behold. It took a very long time for the Banking Clan frigate to be destroyed, for it was heavily shielded and could withstand significant firepower. But with it being gone, there is now access to the planet, so the gunships fly out from the flagship and enter Antamont atmosphere. It’s clean and clear, the clouds were lazily drifting across an otherwise perfect forget-me-not blue sky.

The larties deliver the troops to the battlefield, and Rex takes in his surroundings: rolling hills, mountains reaching high up to the sky, and dense forests. A beautiful farming world that the Seppies unfortunately had to make into a bloody battleground.

Numerous droids fell prey to Clik’s AT-RT, and his chortling reached Rex’s ears over the private comm channel who couldn’t help but chuckle amusedly. 

“Incoming!” a brother shouted.

The explosion blows up near a group of men sending them flying through the air, their screams pierce Rex’s ears and echo inside his skull. It ruptures their internal organs, smashing their brains, and causing all kinds of internal bleeding—like a bloodbath sloshing inside your body. His head was spinning and he struggled to his feet; he didn’t even know that he fell. He managed to take a few steps forward until he felt searing pain in his left calf. “Ahhh!” He stumbled over a fallen soldier and fell on the blood stained grass, his helmet rolled off his head. 

Commander Cody—who was fighting near by him at the time—noticed a distinctive blonde buzz cut and his stomach drops. “Rex!” he gasped in horror and sprinted over. 

“Dart!” The kneeling commander looked up and saw a trooper jogging over towards them. “I’ll order for a gunship,” they said, a little breathless. At hearing Ace’s voice, Rex groans and reaches out his hand for his brother to hold. “You’re gonna be okay and safe soon, Buddy.” 

Cody looked away, silently thanking the markers for his sun bonnet so Ace couldn’t see the pain written across his face. It seems like Rex had replaced him with a new ori’vode. He knows, of course, that he didn’t deliberately do it— _he doesn’t even know who I am anymore—_ but it sure does feel that way. 

The ordered gunship lands nearby, and Ace heaves Rex up by his waist and gently throws him over his shoulder, then walks over to it. Cody stood and watched, refusing to believe that jealousy is tugging at his heartstrings; he was not the jealous type. The LAAT/i raised up from the ground and disappeared behind the grey clouds that promised rain. He refocused on the battle, but his mind disobeys him and wanders off to Rex; those two have been as close as brothers can be since their Kamino days. He feels as though a half of himself is dead and that half was Rex. But now his ori’vod is gone . . . the ache in his chest grows.

* * *

He sluggishly opened his eyes, blinked a few times, the peculiar corrosive smell drifted to his nostrils and caught in his throat. Rex hates the smell of a medbay. “Unhh . . . ” 

“I don’t like the smell either.” It’s a clone's voice but he doesn’t know whom it belongs to. As if the trooper read his thoughts he goes on to say, “I’m Commander Cody.” 

Oh that name! Where has he heard it before? In one those strange dreams of his, yes. ”Sir,’’ Rex salutes immediately. 

Cody’s mouth curved into a half smile. “At ease, trooper.”

So he brought his hand down on his aching stomach. He curiously looked at the clone: standard haircut and two scars—one at the top right of his forehead in a rough C-shape, and another jagged line curving around his eye socket and across his cheek. He gave him that half smile again. “I always check in on the wounded after battles. How are you feeling?” he asked softly. 

“Disoriented, weak and like I am floating.” 

“I know that sensation, it’s the aftermath of being in the bacta tank for a while.” 

“It’s a awful feeling. Hey, where did you get that scar? It looks pretty cool.” A moment of silence. Cody’s eyes are empty, sad. “I’m . . . I’m sorry.” 

“No, no, you’re okay. During the battle of Tibrin the gunship I was on crashed and—and a close friend stitched it up.” Cody searched Rex’s face for a sign of remembrance but found nothing. 

“Tibrin . . . ” Rex said slowly, drawing his eyebrows together. 

“Yes. _Tibrin_.” 

“Must’ve been pretty scary.” 

His hope of wishful thinking fizzled out. “It was,” he said in a low tone, hoping the tears creeping into his eyes couldn’t be heard in his voice.

Rex picked up on the sudden change in the commander. “Did your friend not survive?”

Cody’s throat tightened, he could say that was so. Rex was dead from a certain point of view. “He’s alive thankfully.” 

“I’m glad to hear.” Rex gives a big yawn. 

Cody rose from his chair. “I’ll be going now. I enjoyed our conversation,” he grins. 

“So did I. You remind me of my brother Ace, I think you two would get along." 

_Oh, I don’t think so._ “Maybe, if he is at all like you.” 

Rex’s cheeks coloured.

“Get better soon, Rex ol’ boy,” Cody said in a voice soft with affection before leaving.

* * *

_The gunship bounced and rocked, bucked and tilted. A blonde-haired clone grabbed onto an overhead, anxiously._

_“We’re going down! Strap in and brace yourselves!” the pilot yelled into the comm._

_The ship rattled and rattled as he strapped himself in against the wall with shaking hands. A trooper in orange armor slowly, cautiously, makes his way over to the seats, but the ship gives a sudden jerk causing him to fall and hit the side of his head on a seat in the process._

_“Cody!” the blonde cried out._

Rex woke with a start drenched in cold sweat the adrenaline rush took him on its own course, and he could feel blood pumping in his ears. “W-what the hell?” he croaked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mandalorian Translate:  
> Vod'ika = Little brother, little sister  
> His dream about Ahsoka took place right before landing on Umbara's surface and would be the last time he'd see her as Rex.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex loses someone close to death and Ahsoka is there to comfort him, when something odd occurs.

_“All you have to do is hold your first soldier who is dying in your arms, and have that terribly futile feeling that I can't do anything about it . . . Then you understand the horror of war.” — Norman Schwarzkopf_

Chapter VI

* * *

Cody takes the turbolift all the way down to the hangar bay, finding his general in a conversation with General Whitmar. Yoda and Jedi Council are the only words that reached his ears. “Sirs,” he greeted formally. 

“Commander Cody, it’s good to see you,” Whitmar smiled. He reminded the clone of his general and Plo Koon’s personalities with a sprinkle of Skywalker. 

“Likewise, sir.”

“We’ll be leaving now, and I’Il make sure to speak with Master Yoda,” Obi-Wan said. 

On-board the Negotiator, Cody goes to his quarters and flopped down on his bed. He takes out his datapad, turns it on and wistfully looks at the photo of him with Rex taken some time after their graduation. They're younger here. He has got his arm around Rex’s shoulder with a grin plastered on his face; believe it or not, he used to be lively but war changes you.

Rex took a more serious expression, however, his lips held a faint smile. Cody would try to do anything to make him crack a smile and when he was successful, he was full of glee. Heavy emotions tighten his throat and he closes his eyes too late to stop a small tear escaping down his cheek. He’s startled by a knock on the door. He wiped away his tears before getting up and answering. “Sir,” he said. 

“May I come in?” asked Obi-Wan.

“Of course.”

His Jedi stepped inside and took a seat at his desk chair. “I sensed your pain and I wish to help you. Would you like to meditate with me? Or talk?”

Cody doesn’t think he could manage talking without tears clogging his throat. “Let’s meditate,” he decides.

Obi-Wan nods, sits down on the rug with his legs crossed and eyes closed. He followed suit. Obi-Wan taught the distressed commander how to do Jedi Meditation after the events of Umbara—losing Rex. It soothes him but it doesn’t completely take away the knotted pain in his chest he undergoes day after day.

* * *

Rex hasn’t been a soldier for long, a couple weeks that’s all, but you don’t have to be one for a long, long time to know that death stalked the battlefield, close and hungry, ever present. There was always a chance someone would fall and never rise again, and so often they did. Ace was not supposed to be one of those, a shot rang out that pierced his chest as he watched it like a slow motion replay or a broken record, before falling onto the ground, haphazard and broken, his slow descent eerily backlit by the flush of red blaster fire, like a crimson flower burst opening.

Rex cried out and the world cried out with him. The concussive blast of ordinance thundered across the field, tearing stone and earth; anything in its path and sending debris flying into the smog clogged air. Their deflector shield began to break away above, ribbons of energy pulling apart and allowing in the haze of a twilight sky and wild display of firepower clashing in the planet's exposure. Aqua armoured troopers stormed through the salty scrublands, tearing up beneath booted feet under bush as they raced to return red lasers with blue.

Except for Rex. 

He ran over to his wounded brother, scooped him up placing him across his shoulders and lumbered off the field. He eased down onto his knees and he lay Ace on the ground, took off his helmet and cradles his head in his arms. He was scared of death, so kriffing scared of losing those he loved. Ace smiles faintly up at him, eyes wide and blood pouring out of a gaping hole in his chest. He grabbed Rex’s hand too quickly, too roughly. Panting and gasping for air, trying to find his last words before he was too late. 

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered, for he knew his brother's fear. 

“Please don’t leave me,” Rex chokes out. He dialed Nyb’s number into his comm pad, his hand was trembling. Ace lay limp in death’s tight arms. 

“Nyb here,” the medics’ voice crackled over the comm.

He stared in disbelief into his brother's lifeless honey-brown eyes. He was so close . . . a sudden chill swept through him, as if a cold wind cut through. 

“ _Hello_?”

All Rex can feel is his chest growing tight with every breath, lungs being squeezed. Then his body goes numb, empty, cold. Is this how it feels when you’re living your death? Sounds of booted footsteps and gasps reach his ears.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” Evo lamented and dropped to his knees, pressed his forehead against his dead brothers and grieved. 

Rex made a strangled noise in his throat and tears began to blur his vision. He wasn’t able to say goodbye either. He still had so much he wanted to say to his ori’vod. So much to say—precious little time. Regret washed over him like the long slow waves on a shallow beach, each wave was icy and sent shivers down his spine. Clik pulled him into a warm embrace and he sobbed quietly into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” Clik’s voice sounds tired, brokenhearted. “In his last moments, he spent it with someone very special to him . . . you. You were always his favorite.” 

Clik took Ace’s body into his arms and began to head back in the direction of the Republic lines, pain stuffing his stride and blame straightening his spine. Rex and Evo sorrowfully followed behind. The field was empty of droids but littered with fallen, brave soldiers; he hated war now as his eyes took this all in. What was the point? General Whitmar spots them and walks over. “I’m very sorry for your loss,” he said. “We’ll give him a proper burial. Ross!” the stoic commander comes jogging over, “grab some shovels from a gunship, we have a soldier to burry.” 

“Yes, sir.”

Red Squad just stood there; their mouths agape behind their helmets. “You take the time to bury the clones, sir,” Evo asked aghast. 

“If we have extra time on our hands after a battle, yes. General Plo does so as well.” 

Ross returned along with Captain Chase and their good friend Sergeant River, each held a shovel. Rex did not cry when he stood watching his best friend, who knew him like no one else being lowered into the ground. He could not escape a feeling that this was his own funeral, and you do not cry in that case. 

The Jedi Council ordered all forces back to Coruscant. Red Squad stay at clone barracks comforting one another. Rex sat on his bunk staring at Ace’s across from his, neatly made, carefully folded black fatigues and his datapad placed beside it. He was never to sleep there; he had found a more colder, narrower bed. Was it not just this morning that they were all together laughing, affectionately teasing one another? But now . . . but now . . . Rex took a deep breath and tears ran down his face.

In the mess hall he pours himself a cup of caf and sits down at a table, putting his face in his cupped hands, his lips quivering and a sob escaping him.

“Dart,” said this soft voice from behind. He slowly lifted his head and looked over his shoulder at the Togruta, feeling humiliated that a superior heard his son. “I sensed grief in the Force and it brought me here to you. I thought you could use some company.” Ahsoka sits next to him. 

“Thank you, sir,” he said quietly. The corners of her lips rose and her blue eyes sparkled like ocean mist. He felt his cheeks growing warm and willed them to stop. What was wrong with him?

“Please, call me Ahsoka.” 

But that would be going against protocol! Does she not know that? Or did she just not care? “Is that an order?”

She frowned slightly. “No.”

_She is a strange Jedi indeed,_ he thought. “Alright then . . . Ashoka.” Her name rolls off his tongue very easily. Rex is too absorbed in thinking about how lovely and familiar this name sounds to notice her brush away the tear sliding down her cheek. Her sweet voice draws him from this confusing realization.

“What happened to make you feel so gloomy?”

He blinked back the tears. “I lost my brother, Ace, he died in my arms as I was dialing our medics number. I was so close to saving him, but I wasn’t fast enough. It’s my fault that he’s gone.” His voice hitched and he coughed to cover the rush of emotion.

Ahsoka put her hand on his; her skin feels strangely cool, maybe it’s a Togruta thing. He looks down to hide his crimson face. “Oh, Rex,” she sighed sadly.

His head jerked up at that, and she quickly pulled her hand back. “Rex,” he whispered confusedly. A vivid image of a blonde-haired clone with his helmet adorned with distinguished blue Jaig eyes tucked under his arm in perfect military precision flashes before his eyes. This trooper looked exactly like him—right down to the small scar on his chin. His blood freezes. While trying to calm himself down, he noticed that she vanished. Bizarre things occurred when he was in her presence, since the first time they’d met: like the very strong connection between them, those uncanny dreams of a past life with her and the 501st. This craziness all began with her _. I should stay clear away from her. She’s probably using a Jedi mind trick on me_. And yet there was another part of him that still wanted to be near her, drink in those memorizing blue eyes and plump lips that he wonders if tasted as intoxicating as they looked. He got up and slowly made his way back to the 126th living quarters.

“Hey, are you doing alright, Re — er — Dart?”

He heard the mistake and looked up into the face he saw countless times in his dreams and flashbacks—General Skywalker. “Yeah, I’m fine, just tired, sir.”

Anakin watched Rex’s retreating back with a somber expression; he missed his friend greatly, someone who he thought of as a brother. Appo had raised through the ranks and was to be praised for his duty but he wasn’t Rex. The 501st just isn’t the same without their heroic captain leading them. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fives is there for Ahsoka as she pours out her heart

_“_ _Friendship is pouring your heart out.”_

Chapter VII

* * *

Sprawled out in Torrent Company’s homebase barracks rec room with a sad smile on her lips, Ahsoka listened to her men’s chit chatting and joshing. But it felt forced, their hearts weren’t in it; their eyes are colorless and sometimes they’d drift over to Rex’s vacant office. Why, why did she decide to come here? Because her master had nothing else for her to accomplish. When she was not slashing droids, she’d be carrying out simple assignments Anakin gave her on the _Resolute_ hoping against hope she could forgot the pain that resided in her heart. 

Pain was her new best friend.

Also, she was done pushing her men away. When they’d invited her into their conversations she’d decline and when they’d ask her if she wanted to do this or that with them, she’d make up an excuse. It just hurts to be around them. But Ahsoka came to realize that she wasn’t the only one suffering the loss of Rex. The men had lost their leader and more tragically a brother. She wanted to be a supportive friend to them as they’d been trying to be for her. 

A feeling that felt like sorrow came through the Force in a sudden. Frowning, she rose to her feet and left the rec room, the Force leading her to the mess hall. And then she saw him. He was sitting at a table with his face buried in his cupped hands, and as she slowly approached him she heard him give a little, muffled sob. Her heart broke. She wanted to hold him tight in her arms and be close. Kiss him. Whisper in his ear I’m here. Ahsoka swallows the lump in her throat and softly says, “Dart?” 

Rex slowly raised his head and looked over his shoulder, his eyes lifeless and broken. She sat beside him and could feel his confusion. “I sensed grief in the Force and brought me here . . . to you. I thought you could use some company.” 

“Thank you, sir,” he murmured. She smiled and her blue eyes sparkled as she looked at him. 

“Please, call me Ahsoka.” 

A look of surprise came across his features. “Is that an order, sir?” 

Her white markings knitted together slightly. “No.” Rex was silent for a moment before he spoke.

“Alright then . . . Ahsoka.” 

She wished she hadn’t requested him to call her by her name. What was she thinking! Her pain comes in like waves, engulfs and overwhelms. Her heart searched for some place to shelter in. Just a moment. A warm covering. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. It was all because he’d said her name. “What happened to make you feel so gloomy?” She can see that he was struggling to hold back the tears. 

“I lost my brother, Ace, he died in my arms as I was dialing our medics number. I was so close to saving him . . . but I wasn’t quick enough. It’s all my fault.” She could clearly hear the agony in his voice despite him trying to hide it. Subconsciously she put her hand on his and gave a gentle squeeze. 

“Oh Rex— ” Ahsoka snapped her mouth shut, unable to believe what she’d just said. His head jerked head up like a dog when its master asked if he wanted a treat, she swiftly removed her hand from his.

“Rex,” he said in a low voice, his brows furrowed. 

She rose and ran out of the mess hall—doesn’t hear Fives calling out to her—and passed through the two sets of sliding doors that allowed entrance to the barracks. She sucked in her breath as tears spilled down her cheeks. Her heart soar when she thought he was making the connection. 

“Sir?” Startled, she gave a little jump and turned around seeing that it was Fives. He walked up to her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, looking at her with sad eyes. “Do you wanna talk?” She nodded with a sniffle. The pair walked to Coruscant Park, a large park located near the Jedi Temple, and sat on a bench under a tree abloom with huge red flowers. “What’s going on?”

“I slipped up and called him Rex,” she confessed quietly. “I left in a hurry before I could make another mistake.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, she leaned into his side. “It seemed like he was making a connection, but I know deep down inside that Rex is gone. I cry everyday and when I think I couldn’t possibly shed another tear, I do. I’m always keeping myself preoccupied; it helps me to cope, but even then my thoughts drift off to him. I feel so empty inside without him. Every night I go to bed alone and sometimes I just don’t want to take another breath, I just want to go to sleep and not wake up, because when I do I wake up alone without him by my side.” Her blue eyes well up and tears coursed down her cheeks, she turned her face away to hide them. Her lips tremble until she bites them and closes her eyes. 

However, Fives saw it all and it crushed his heart. He remembers a Togruta who was once bright, bubbly, and ambitious. She had dreams, and wants. Her smile would brighten up the room but now they ceased to happen, or if they did, they looked so dead. 

He lost two dear friends in one day.

Gently, he rubbed her upper arm in a soothing manner, trying to ease her grief. “Rex told me: ‘When I’m dead, take care of my cyar’ika.’ I promised him I would.” 

She turned to look back at him. “He did? . . . sounds like something he’d say.” 

“I won’t let you walk down this painful road alone, Ahsoka. I’ll walk it with you to the end,” he went on. 

“Thank you for taking the time to be here for me, I want you to know that I really appreciate it,” she said, her voice full of warmth. “I feel a little better now.” 

His amber eyes smiled at her; they remind her of Rex’s and her heartstrings are tugged at. “That’s what friends are for.” 

Then they departed from each other: Fives to 79’s and Ahsoka to the Jedi Temple. She goes to her dormitory and lays down on her cot, looking at the photo on the nightstand of her kissing Rex’s cheek. He was smiling; it was a rare sight to see him smile, but when he did, she liked that it mostly happened in her presence. She picked up the photo and lightly stroked the soldier’s handsome face with her finger. “I’ve whispered a thousand words to you at night, cried a million tears—oh my d’behm I just want you to know I miss you so,” she mourned.

* * *

Fives sat in silence, looking tired and low-spirited. Jesse placed his glass of Ne’tra gal atop the bar and looked at his brother. “What’s going on?” he queried. 

“I spoke with the commander.” 

“Oh . . . how is she?” 

“She said she sometimes doesn’t want to take another breath.”

Jesse’s eyes grew wide and he felt a sudden tender pity for her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Umbara—where it all started.

_“I remember everything about that night. I will always remember.” — Michael Tuttle_

Chapter VIII

* * *

(four months later) 

_Umbara_.

The word sends a cold shiver down his spine, he felt icy fingers crawling up his spine. Rex tries to focus on the briefing and not the queasy feeling in his stomach, his pounding headache, the dread tightening his chest. If only Ace were here, he thought, he would make me feel better. He felt himself spiraling through his grief and has to get a grip on it before it consumes him. Why would a planet he knows nothing about cause him such fear? The 126th Battalion has fought on many unknown and strange worlds and not one has made him feel this way. 

“The Five-Hundred-First and the Two-Hundred-Twelve had no knowledge of this secret weapon factory.” He heard his commander say. The general started speaking, at least he thinks so, but isn’t sure because he was deep in his thoughts again.

The 501st battle on Umbara. 

_“CT-7567 are you reading me?” The booming voice echoes inside his head._

 _“Excuse me, sir?”_ His puzzled voice— _his?_ —replies. 

A cold sweat broke out on his forehead, his heart thumped against his ribcage. When Rex closed his eyes, he saw piercing yellow ones boring into his. He shudders and his eyes snapped open. “K-krell,” he whispered fearfully. 

“Who?” Evo asked, Rex hadn’t turned off his helmet audio. 

“Nothing,” he mumbled, muting his helmet comm. 

When his feet touch Umbara’s surface, his breath grows laboured. The hum of a lightsaber reaches his ears and he jumped with fright, expecting to see the Besalisk’s deadly two double-bladed sabers 

“Something wrong, son?” Whitmar’s voice is low and gentle. 

“I’m okay, sir,” he replied in a small voice. 

_“MAKE EM’ EAT HEAT!!!”_

_“ALL SQUADS, FALL BACK NOW!!!”_

Rex winces at the loud voices in his head. The darkness, the following landscapes with overgrown plant life, struck him with terror. The night is eerie and the only sounds he can hear are his brother's booted footsteps, and the battle going on in his head occurring in another life. 

_“On your knees,” he orders._

_“It feels good, doesn’t it? But I can sense your fear. You’re shaking, aren’t you?” Krell sneered. “What are you waiting for? The Umbarans are getting closer.”_

_“I have to do this!” He fires the killing shot and the monster falls on his cell’s floor with a thud._

He stumbled and would have fallen, had not Clik grasp his arm. “Careful. You alright?” his brother asked. No. No he was not alright! He hasn’t been since the day he laid eyes upon Commander Tano. 

“Yes,” he lied, can’t help but feel guilty. He suddenly noticed looming up out of the dark in front of him a large angular building, droids guarded it. 

_He was handcuffed and forced aboard a gunship. The side hatches closed, and the engine hummed to life._

The general’s lightsaber was a blur of color as he deflected the red fire, and blaster shots rang through the night air. I have to stay focused, he thought, or It’ll mean my life. 

_He walked under the soft white lights of Kamino’s white hallways with his hands cuffed behind his back and two Kamino guards—_

Rex gritted his teeth, a great turmoil was throbbing within his chest. The screaming from dying men filled his ears, Captain Chase’s orders made his head spin. 

“CT-7567, you have completely gone against your programing.” The alien's voice was soft and cool, as cool as the droplets of rain. ”Your actions today were unacceptable and a defective clone like you must be dealt with . . . reconditioning.” 

He let the word and its definition sink into his brain. _I was reconditioned??!!_ A moment of utter confusion gripped him. 

“Incoming!” Commander Ross hollered. 

The ground rocked and shook to the roaring blast of the explosion. Rex was flung into the air and onto the ground violently; his breath is so short, like his lungs are ready to give up the fight. He could feel the beat of his heart but it sounded dangerously slow. Warm liquid trickles down the side of his face. 

Rex’s mouth is full of blood and fragments. _Am I fainting?_ he wonders; _am I dying. “_ Turn him on his side,” he hears a voice say. “Keep the pressure on. Keep the pressure _on!”_

His ears are ringing, the dark lines spread inward, he’s bitterly cold. His legs and arms are dancing, he thinks. He wants to scream as they rotate him onto his broken leg. The movement makes him feel sick. He heaves, vomits. Can’t clear his throat of blood and debris. 

“Sir.” 

In his misery Rex pondered on his designation number: CT-5676, then he rearranged them around in his mind: _CT-7567_. This was no coincidence— _he_ was CT-7567— _Captain Rex._

Someone seems to be pressing down on him, preventing him from breathing. His legs are shuddering, something had trapped his arm, and he has in the end, only a brief moment of panic before a sweet name slipped out over his lips like a vow, and he slid into unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rex regained his memories 😲 and I think we can all agree the sweet name was Ashoka 😍


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex has weighty news to tell Clik and Evo. And two brothers reunite.

_“Once a brother, always a brother no matter the distance, no matter the difference and no matter the issue.”_ — Byron Pulsifer 

Chapter IX

* * *

Rex was in an induced coma for a few weeks. The dreams, hallucinations, phantasms, nightmares, were so frightening and real! Half the time he found himself standing in a white room, feeling like he was waiting for something, but didn’t know what. He would feel people holding his hand, the medic bathing his body, but he couldn’t move or open his eyes, he just couldn’t do anything and it was terrifying! 

He woke up to this strange white light with zero recollection of why he was in the medbay or what was said while he was out. In his peripheral vision, he saw General Krell standing in a corner with a cruel smile twisting his lips, yellow eyes boring into his. “I killed you!” he’d shouted. “Leave me alone!” Rex didn’t understand why he was screaming this, for at the time he’d forgotten who Krell was—only that this Besalisk haunted his dreams.

“W-what’s going on with him, Nyb?” Evo asked nervously.

“He’s hallucinating,” the medic replied calmly. 

Due to his severe concussion it takes months until he regains his memories leading up to his time in coma. Evo, Clik, and River were a constant help and a source of comfort for him. General Whitmar even used Force healing on him. ”Bacta can heal the body, but Force heal can heal the soul,” he said, eyes twinkling with wisdom and suddenly appearing so much older than he really was. 

“Do you remember your number?” Evo quizzed one day as he cleans his DC-15 blaster rifle, they were sitting on his bunk in Shadow Company’s living quarters. 

Rex was anxious to tell his brother his secret. A big part of him wished that his concussion made him completely forget his discovery of his real self. How would his brothers react to finding out that he was reconditioned? Did he even want to inform them? What if it ruined their relationship? “CT-7567,” he answered anyway in a shaky voice.

Evo shakes his head frowning, scrubbing a stubborn spot. ”No, that’s not it. Try again.”

“That _is_ my real number, Evo.” 

Clik, who’s laying on his bunk reading, looked over with a puzzled and worried expression. “I think you should visit the medbay.”

“No,” he sighed. “I–I have to tell you two something.” 

“We’re listening,” Clik said, still concerned and placed his datapad down beside him.

He takes in a deep breath, relaxed and let it go then proceeds to tell them everything—from his first time meeting Ashoka to the events on Umbara and everything in between. All the while he speaks, Evo and Cliks’ eyes and mouths were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and that just made him feel a hundred times worse. “I don’t know who I am; where I truly belong. I feel so lost in this galaxy,” he whispers, brokenly. 

“You have us,” Clik emphasized, climbing down his bunk ladder and going over to sit with his brothers. 

Rex put his head in his hands and began to cry softly. His mind is in a whirlpool from which he can not escape.

“You always have,” Evo said softly.

“But I’m a . . . ” he tried to find the appropriate word, “wreck. I share the memories of another clone; our past together isn’t . . .” he found himself unable to finish his sentence. The depressing fact that his memories of Ace, Evo, and Clik are false comes crashing down upon him like a crumbling building and tears stream down his face. 

“Don’t say it,” begged Evo, his eyes growing misty.

Clik screwed his eyes shut, fighting back the tears. “You’ll always be my brother; nothing is going to change that,” he said firmly. “We still love you and want you in our lives. Right Evo?” 

“Yes, of course, this situation isn’t going to change how I feel about you, even though it’s huge and painful. Do you still want us in your life? If our being so is going to—” 

“I’ll forever want you both in my life. You two are brothers and nothing will ever change that fact,” Rex interrupted fervently, and then he fell silent. “I wish this was all a very bad dream.” 

“So do we,” Evo and Ace sighed together.

* * *

Later that day . . . 

Rex walked down the pristine halls until he came to the 212th living quarters, and he took in a deep breath before passing through the pneumatic door. A snarky voice reached his ears, “In case you didn’t know, our unit markings are orange.” 

“You don’t say!” Rex rolled his eyes and turned around, seeing Boil seated at the table.

Boil suppressed his insecurity in a subtle way: holding his helmet in front of his body. “What are you doing here?”

“I want to speak with your Commander, is he here?”

“You’ll find him in his office,” was his toneless reply, he pointed to the door. 

“Thanks.” He walks over and slowly knocks, his heart is racing and he doesn’t know why. 

“Come in,” Cody said, his voice deep and muffled. Rex raises his hand to press the opening button of the door. The door slid aside and he entered, it began to slide shut by itself. Cody is sitting at his desk typing into his datapad, glancing at notes. He laid his stylus down and looked up, his eyebrows rose a notch and a smile formed on his lips. “I wasn’t expecting you, what makes you stop by?” 

He stood with his back pressed against the door, and he opened his mouth but the words won’t come out.

“Is everything alright?”

Rex felt the heat spread up his neck. Why does he have to be like this? He went over what he wanted to say to Cody a hundred times. “Yes . . .” he mumbled finally, sitting down and his elbow accidentally bumps into a stack of flimsi sitting on top of the desk, several folders slid off the edge, their contents spilling onto the floor. “Oh! I’m sorry.”

_Kriff_. 

“No, no, it’s okay.” Cody got down onto his knees and gathered them up. He neatly put the flimsi’s back on his desk and as he did so a photograph fluttered to the floor. Rex reached for it, turned it around and gasped. ”What is . . . ” his brothers’ voice trailed off as he stared at the picture. 

_Of them._

The dark blue Jaig eyes stare up at Rex. The picture was taken a couple days before the Second Battle of Geonosis—he remembers.

“That’s my friend and I.” Cody reached out to take it but his hand stops, mid-air when Rex says, 

“I know—it’s me.”

His mouth slowly drops open; looking like a fish out of water. He stares, unblinking, unable to move, and he licks his lips because they have suddenly become dry. _I heard wrong, of course I did._ He couldn’t speak. 

Rex placed both hands upon his brother's shoulders and looked into his honey-brown eyes. “The long-necks made a mistake, I guess,” he said quietly. “It’s me, Codes.” 

The usual austere trooper felt a surge of joy and tears burst forth like a ruined damn at being referred to as Codes—a pet name his little brother chose for him—and something he thought he’d never hear again; only in his dreams. “Rex, ori’vod.” His whole face smiled and he embraced his brother. “Not a single day went by that I didn’t think of you.” 

Rex smiles through his blurry vision and gently disengaged himself from his arms. “Sometimes you would appear in my strange dreams and flashbacks. After that time you visited me in the medbay, I had a dream about the crash we were involved in on Tibrin. I was so confused and fearful.” 

“Naturally. I told you about my scar in the vain hope that you would remember. But what hurt the most was your bond with Ace, I’ll admit that I was jealous and felt replaced.” 

The smile on Rex’s lips faded, pain swamping him. “He was killed . . . ” 

Cody placed his hand on his shoulder and gave a soft squeeze. “That’s terrible. Please accept my heartfelt condolences for your loss. God, I cannot believe that this is really happening . . . you’re back.” His voice is thick with emotions and he doesn’t even try to conceal it. “You have a sweetheart and men who will be thrilled to see you, Rex.”

“ _Ahsoka_ ,” he whispered adoringly. He would get to hold his cyar’ika in his arms once again, kiss her sweet lips and, oh! he could cry tears of joy! “All of my odd dreams began after I met her. She was so familiar; I felt this connection with her. She played a major role in regaining my memories.” 

“Did she?” Cody grinned, “then I’ll have to make sure to praise her for bringing my ori’vod back to me.” And the brothers crossed the small distance between them, hugging each other warmly. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 501st rejoice in the return of their captain.

_“Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life.” — Albert Einstein_

Chapter X

* * *

Shadow Company had been locked in combat for a week straight, the droid forces making their attacks random to further exasperate the exhausted and clammy soldiers. The battle would have long ago been won had General Skywalker been allowed to make his forward approach on the base, but General Whitmar had insisted that they make it a stealth mission.

The planet they were on was covered in rainforests and jungles teeming with life, the rivers were full of fish. “When I saw a picture of its long, winding river, I just knew that I wanted to be called River,” Lieutenant River told his friend Rex, a smile on his face.

Rex thought it was a very beautiful world, but it has its downsides. It’s quite hot and humid and buggy—the bugs are terrible! He swatted a spider crawling up his shoulder, then cleaned its intestines off his shoulder pad and gloved hand with a large leaf. He let out a long sigh and glanced over at the Togruta; her eyes were closed and she was pouring water from her canteen over her montrals with a look of pure bliss on her face. In that moment, in his eyes, her beauty could rival the planets. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing sapphire blues that were framed with thick long lashes, but they’re not lively like he always remembered them to be; instead desolate and subfusc. He knew why and he just wanted to hold her close and tell her that she had her d’behm back in her arms again to stay. 

“Captain Chase,” General Skywalker addressed the clone, wiping the sweat dripping down his face with the back of his hand. 

“General,” he said curtly, saluting the Jedi. 

“I’ve just contacted your general, he’s in position for our new plan.” Hope flared within Rex and the men around him startled, peering at the Jedi through their t-visors. Seriously? Finally! 

“Our . . . new plan, sir?” said Evo, daring not to sound too excited. 

Anakin’s mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Yep, we’re going to destroy the base like we should have done a week ago. The 126th will take the rear, causing a distraction, and the 501st will rush them from the front.” 

“It’s about time, Master,” Ahsoka said. 

“I agree.”

* * *

The battle had gone very well, and based on Nyb’s reports the battle had been miraculous on a medics end; limited casualties, nothing too messy. Rex was currently in the mess hall of the clone barracks after coming back from 79’s celebrating with Evo, Clik, and River.

“Hey Dart,” Fives greeted him. “Do you mind if I sit with you?” 

He sipped his caf before responding. “I don’t mind, come sit.” Smiling, Fives walked around the table and sat down across from him. “I’m curious how you became an ARC trooper.” by asking this question, he would be able to tell Fives who he was.

“Well . . . it was after the battle of Kamino I was promoted by”—he paused for a moment and Rex can see the pain in his eyes; eyes are never quite—“my captain to ARC trooper for the role I played in the defense of our home world.” 

“Kamino was lucky to have clones like you and Echo defending it.” 

“You know that was exactly what”—Fives stops abruptly, stares at him in bewilderment. “ _Echo_? How do you . . . ?” his voice trailed off and he pinched his arm just to make sure he wasn’t in a dream— _ouch_!—no, this was very much reality. “Rex?” He dared to hope; too many high hopes, too many disappointments, a life lesson he lives by. It sucked but it was better than having your hopes shattered and maybe even your heart. 

“Aye, it’s me vod.” Fives bit his quivering lip and began to cry. He got up and sat beside his brother, pulling him into a tight embrace. “Hey now, it’s okay.” 

“I was one who told General Skywalker and the commander that you were gone,” he blubbered. “Skywalker was furious and he immediately called the long-necks and ordered them to return you to us, but Nala Se didn’t even budge. A part of me died that night Rex, but now you’re back home and I couldn’t be more happier.” 

“That time in the locker room, there was something familiar about you,” Rex said quietly. “I’m sorry that I was the one who caused you to go through all that heartache.” 

Fives shook his head firmly. “Don’t even for a _second_ blame yourself, Captain. Captain . . . it feels like forever ago since I’ve called you that; it feels so good.” 

“ _Captain_ ,” he murmured to himself, “I don’t believe I’ll ever get used to that. What you said about the general, Fives, was that really so?” 

“Yes, he was devastated and still is; blames himself for all of this. We have not been the same without you . . . especially the commander. She doesn’t laugh anymore, you won’t find her smiling; instead serious, quiet and sad; so much sadness that I can feel it and I’m not even a Jedi. You entrusted me with her wellbeing if something happened to you, so I listened attentively as she poured out her heart, and was there when she needed a shoulder to cry on.” 

“I am very appreciative for what you have done for her,” Rex acknowledged. “It breaks me to know that she doesn’t laugh or smile; just her sweet laughter and bright smiles alone could get me through another dreary day.” 

“She was a ray of sunshine on the battlefield,” Fives agreed dismally. “C’mon, we’ve got brothers who will be crazy to see you.” 

And thrilled the boys in blue were; you can see it in the way they walk, what they say and the massive smile on their faces. They each had their chance to give their long lost captain a bone crushing hug.

“Tup—can’t—breath,” Rex wheezed and he wouldn’t be surprised if Kix or Coric had to operate on him.

“Sorry,” Tup laughed and released his brother. “You cannot die yet, not when we just got you back. I cannot believe this. I feel like I’m living in a dream . . . a dream I believed would never come to be. I am so happy,” and then he started to cry. There had never been so many soggy tissues in the 501st nor would there be again. 

The pneumatic door swooshed open and in came Anakin. Joy like he had never felt before swelled around him like a soaring melody. What is making his men so delightful all of the sudden? What he sees when he looks up from his datapad is Torrent Company gathered around Rex. _No. Dart._ “What’s going on here?” he inquired. The men fell silent and looked at him, their eyes shining merrily. 

“Rex is home,” Fives said softly with tear-stained cheeks. 

Anakin’s heart stops, he was not able to comprehend what he was seeing, what he is hearing. “How . . . is this . . . possible?” His voice quivered with emotion and he has to lean back against a wall. 

“I don’t know,” Rex began slowly, “I began having weird dreams and flashbacks after my first time fighting alongside you guys. I had this queer feeling that I had a past life; I know it sounds crazy and I thought I was, but the feeling didn’t leave me, in fact it just grew stronger. It wasn’t until the Second Battle of Umbara did I make the full connection. I was deeply saddened and even traumatized by this startling discovery. I felt like a stranger to myself, even now I cannot completely identify as Rex over Dart and vise versa. It’s not easy.” 

Anakin tries to imagine how it would be to identify as two separate people and ends up with a headache. “I would think not, I’m sorry.” The men move out of the way for him to get to Rex. 

“General,” he smiled, salutes his Jedi.

His heart swelled with pride; yes, _he_ was Captain Rex’s general. The room became silent, as a single tear dropped from his eyes, and they knew that he was going to cry. Anakin took a long, shuddering breath and blinked rapidly to see past the rim of warm wetness in his eyes. 

_Kriff, hold it together Skywalker._

He gave his captain a long hug and began to laugh; it’s a safety mechanism for not crying in public. After a long moment Rex withdrew and looked his general in the eye. “None of this is your fault, sir,” he said solemnly. “I know you think it is, but it’s not. You’re a good and loyal friend that I am lucky to have.” 

“I . . . I missed you.” _so much._

“It’s just like old times, sir,” Jesse said with a broad smile on his face and tears glistening in his eyes. 

“Yes it is, Jesse— _yes it is.”_


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cyar’ika.” His voice was full of warmth and affection. Her breath caught and she couldn't seem to form words — only one person called her that.

_“The mistake that brought you back to me.”_

Chapter XI

* * *

“There is a power and a brilliance in the tranquility, a place of stillness even in the roar of the waterfall”, Master Plo had once told Ahsoka and she found that to be true as she sits on a bench in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. You can smell the dirt, crisp wet leaves, and vegetation. Fountains could be heard trickling from anywhere in the chamber; some were concealed by the shrubbery, but others were brilliantly displayed in the center of the winding, like a snake, stone walkways. She came here to weep and master her anger after receiving some harsh criticism from Master’s Yoda, Windu, and Unduli for being far too attached to Captain Rex. “Lock them deep down inside,” was Master Unduli’s exact words. Yeah, because when does bottling up your emotions ever have good outcomes? It’s not healthy. 

_She wasn’t sounding like a Jedi._

Ahsoka could sense the Jedi disapproval for her wherever she was in the Temple, as though she was something unclean. But she doesn’t care. She found love and it was magical and beautiful. She loved Rex; she loved him more than any Order was worth. 

She fixed her gaze upon a snow-flower peeking from under the log near the beach she sat on. The Room of a Thousand Fountains contained a huge amount of flora, but this one in particular caught her attention and she leaned down to examine it. The little white flower stood alone and the rotted log blocked any sunlight from reaching it. _My life is like this flower,_ she thought, _alone_ , _lonely_ _and_ _sad_.

“Hello Ahsoka,” her friend’s meek and calm voice interrupted her thoughts. She looked up and her lips stretched into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes; they were lit with melancholy. Barriss sat beside her and placed her dainty hands in her lap. The smile in her blue eyes disappeared as she took in her friend’s puffy red ones. “You’re thinking about Rex, aren’t you?” 

“When don’t I?” Ashoka gave a slightly hollow laugh and added with a woeful sigh, “will it always hurt this bad?” 

“My Master once said: “Time doesn’t heal everything, we heal ourselves over a period of time.” Her heart was wrung with pain at the thought of losing her beloved Cody the way her friend lost her own love. She knew of course it was wrong, but . . . 

Ahsoka cracked a wry smile; here Master Unduli told her to lock her feelings deep down inside, also she says we heal ourselves over a period of time. How can one properly heal if they don’t acknowledge their emotional pain in the first place? She decided not to tell Barriss this; expressing negativity about her Master would be unkind and only cause confrontation. “I never really thought of it that way . . . ” 

“Life is given to us and we must make the best of it, no matter how painful it can be sometimes, because we can; we just need to want it. In your heart, remember all the precious moments you had with Rex, but don’t feel alone because you’re not—you have yourself to take care of. He wouldn’t be happy to see that you’re stuck in a dark, depressing world.” 

“Have I told you lately what a wonderful friend you are?” she asked. “You’re the best. Thank you for being my friend.”

Unshed tears wet Barriss’s eyes. “I wish I could give you a big hug and take all your pain away . . . ”

* * *

In her dormitory, Ahsoka filled a small cup with water and put the wilted snow-flower into the cup then placed it in the windowsill. As the sun’s rays touched the flower, it perked up; sunshine is the best medicine. The sun kissed her skin and it felt secure, like a warm blanket enveloping her entire body. She looked at the once droopy flower and wondered if someday she could find happiness again too. Joy in a world without Rex, was it even possible? Barriss’s and his words echoed in her mind. 

_“Life is given to us and we must make the best of it, no matter how painful it can be sometimes, because we can; we just need to want it.”_

_“When I look down from clone heaven, I want to see that smile of yours that could rival the sun's brightness. Not tears. Please, be strong, my love.”_

The sun gleamed on her face and she smiled, putting the sun to shame. She was not crying, but had tears in her heart. “I’m trying, Rex,” she whispered, her voice cracked. The silence in the room was suddenly broken by her comlink’s ping 

“Hey, Snips,” Anakin said, “would you be able to come to the _Resolute_?” 

“Yeah. Another mission?” 

“No. It’s something else . . . ” 

“Oh.” There was curiosity in her voice. “I’ll be there soon.” 

“Great!” 

_What’s making him joyful all of the sudden?_ She ended the transmission, rose to her feet and left the Temple.

“Commander,” Fives and Jesse acknowledged her as she climbed out from her starfighter. They were in a jovial mood. 

She gave them a strange look. “You two are awfully happy. What’s going on?” 

“Nothin.” Fives shrugged lightly. 

“Yep.” Jesse’s face softened into a grin. 

“Very convincing. Where’s Anakin?” 

“On the bridge, sir.” 

Ashoka heads there but doesn’t find her Master, instead Rex gazing out the viewport, his back facing her. _What is he doing here?_ Her heart beats painfully in her chest. To be so close, yet so far. Just as she was about to leave, he turned around and flashed his perfect white teeth in a half smile. It was the half smile she adored so much. “Hi,” she said quietly. “What are you doing here?” 

“I came here to see you,” he replied softly, stepping towards her. 

His close proximity sent her heart racing. “ _Me?_ ” She was puzzled. Rex touched her cheek and gazed into her eyes; he looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man. She felt the heat rush to her face and her lekku darkened to a deeper blue. 

“Cyar’ika.” His voice was full of warmth and affection.

Her breath caught and she couldn’t seem to form words—only one person called her that. Ahsoka pulled him close and their lips met, softly at first, but then with more fever. She had spent countless sleepless nights, remembering his lips, and now, after months of being completely and utterly alone, she felt the lips she never thought she’d kiss again. They pressed tightly, tightly together, desperately, as if something was going to rip them apart, as if a Kaminoan would pop out of thin air and separate them for forever. His hands caressed her lekku and her waist, and hers slipped along his armored chest and up around his neck. Her body was trembling with excitement, tears were streaming down her face, and she felt like her heart would burst any second with joy. “Oh, Rex,” she said rapturously, cupping his face in her hands and wiping his own tears away.

His golden eyes were alive, dancing, and burning; they seemed to light up the room. “I love you, Ahsoka.” 

She laughed with tears. The sound of her laughter, bright and cheerful like golden fire blossoms in summer days, blossomed upon a peaceful field, could be heard from a mile away, echoing through the halls and into each and every room in the _Resolute_ , cheering everyone up. And everyone knew then that their frolicsome, peppy little Togruta had returned at last. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear those words from you again. I love you so much, so much that it aches. Let’s go to my quarters where we can have some privacy.”

She stopped in front of a door on the left side of the hall. It slid open and the pair stepped into the quiet, simple room. It smelled of asyr’s a type of flower, and he breathed in their fine aromatic perfume deeply. She took a seat on her bunk. He came over and sat beside her, she crawled onto his lap and rested her head upon his shoulder breathing in his familiar, comforting scent. “Hold me, Rex. Hold me close,” Ahsoka whispered, desiring nothing else in the world. His arms came up, enfolding her into his embrace tightly. Being in his arms was the first time in a long while where she felt at home. “I never truly learned what the words I miss you were until I reached for your hand and it wasn’t there. I’ve never been so scared of losing something in my entire life—it’s not the Jedi way, then again nothing in my life has ever meant as much as you do; more than the Jedi Order.”

Rex lifted her chin with one finger; he felt the rise and fall of each breath and was inches from the slightly parted soft lips just begging for a kiss. Their lips molded perfectly together, like they were meant to be. “You have me now”—his lips brush the side of her neck and his strong arms encircle her slim waist, pulling her closer to his chest—“you’ve got your d’behm back.” 

“And I’ll never let him go,” she murmured and rested her forehead against his. “Do you remember how we met?” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “ ‘So, if you’re a captain, and I’m a Jedi, then technically I outrank you, right?’ ” He was good at imitating her once high-pitched bratty voice. 

“I was that bad?” Ahsoka visibly cringed, “but I was correct,” she joked.

“Yes, well, in my book experience outranks everything,” Rex gruffed and took possession of her mouth with his and his lips moved over hers. His kiss was warm and wet—firm and sultry, filled with passion, hard and soft at the same time. 

“Rex.” His name was a whisper, a sigh, a sacred vow on her lips. The ache inside him deepened, “that’s not how it went the last time.” She was in a good mood. She was very playful. She arches her body like a cat on a stretch.

He smiled provocatively against her lips. “No, but I like this version better.”

Without breaking apart they began removing each other’s clothing. Their hands caressed each other’s blushing skin—so long she has gone without his intoxicating touch. Somewhere in the night there would be a seamless merging of the two, but until then, they both revel in the beautiful art of lovemaking.

“I love you, Cyar’ika,” Rex panted softly as he held her close and nuzzled her lek. Then he rested his head upon her bare chest and closed his eyes, breathing deeply in her cinnamony, sweet scent mixed with him. _God_ , how he loved her. 

Ahsoka ran her fingers along his sculpted arms and shed tears of happiness. No camera could ever capture the look in her eyes and the feeling in her heart when she looked at him. “You would always say that afterwards. I feel complete with you, my d’behm.” He watched her smile that smile of hers that could rival the sun’s brightness. 

_The End_

“Tell me, how did you get your memories back?” she asked. 

“Well, it all began with you,” and he told her everything.

When he was finished, she kissed him with all the love she had in her heart. 

“Their mistake brought us back together,” she breathes. 

“A good flaw,” he murmurs. 


End file.
